Lucas Camilo

Monday is Lucas’s first day of pre-school.  Needless to say, we’re both excited and quite nervous.  As the day gets closer we can’t help but think about what it really means that he’s starting school.

As you can probably tell from our last few posts, things have been going really well lately for Lucas.  The number of excursions and new adventures we’ve had in the last 2 months is remarkable, especially for a kid that not long ago said “no!” emphatically every time we suggested leaving the house.  We’ve felt extremely fortunate for the beautiful weather in Seattle and some extra flexibility in our schedules over the summer… but that would have meant very little for us if Lucas’s health, endurance or attitude didn’t permit us to actually leave the house very often.

But the fact that Lucas is enjoying going out is important for another reason: it makes us feel like school might really be a good thing for him.  Between his weekly music class and a camp at the nearby Children’s Playgarden, Lucas has already been in some school like situations and he’s done pretty well.   It’s still hard sometimes to imagine him interacting well with other 3 and 4 year-olds, who have a tendency to operate in a gear that’s too fast for Lucas.  One of the things we’re very nervous about is getting Lucas in positions that allow him to be communicative and interactive.  For a kid with extremely low muscle tone this is a huge challenge, but getting outside in a variety of situations is great practice for school.

Of course, there’s one big difference: on our recent outings both of us are there accompanying Lucas, and we’re experts at knowing when he’s upset because of a breathing issue, or bad positioning, or just because he’s being an impatient 3 year-old and we failed to chose the right book.  And here’s the kicker: when he gets settled into school, we won’t be there.

Yes, it’s true – parents can’t actually spend every day of school with their children!  We’ve joked that Burke will be tucked in the corner of the classroom with his laptop blogging and live-tweeting Lucas’s first day of school.  Or that Krista will be planted in a tree a block away with binoculars, prepared to intervene should someone forget to put the little oval-shaped pillow under Lucas’s neck when he’s sitting up.  In fact, Lucas’s teacher at Lowell made a home visit last week and assured us that one or both of us could in fact be there during his first day of school.  But what about the 2nd day?!?

Lots of parents go through separation anxiety when their first child heads off to school, and yet for Lucas there are so many more levels of challenges.  A couple years ago, we didn’t even know if Lucas would ever be able to go to school.  We had no idea if his immune system could handle the germs, if he’d have the physical stamina to be out of bed for half a day, if he’d have the cognitive and social skills to enjoy school, or even if he’d make it this far.  And now, here we are.  All signs point to him being ready, but there is still the fact that Lucas has so many very specific medical and physical needs.  Of course there will be a nurse accompanying Lucas – two different ones who already know Lucas and will alternate days.  They’re good and we trust them, but whereas they’ve spent 8 to 12 hours a week with Lucas for the past 6 months, we’ve spent just about every minute with him (collectively) since he was born.  When it comes to a slight change in head positioning that will make all the difference in his enjoyment, we’re not sure they can read the slight fogging over in his eyes as quickly as we can.

And we just have to accept that Lucas’s nurses may not know as fast as we do whether Lucas is turning grey because of a a medical emergency or because he’s throwing a small tantrum.  It’s a crazy thing to accept, but if we want Lucas to experience the world beyond the two of us then we have to.  Of course we’ve already been trusting nurses with medical/childcare tasks every time we leave Lucas home alone with them.  But our house feels like such a controlled environment compared to the chaos of a preschool classroom, not to mention a school bus ride.  The first time we leave Lucas at school will be the first time Lucas has been away from home without at least one of us.

So tomorrow morning the adventure begins!   We’ll pack Lucas off to school with his cutest first-day-of-school outfit, new backpack, wheelchair, vent, suction machine, back-up suction machine, nurse, and a change of clothes to keep in his cubby.  If you’re on twitter check out #lucasfirstday (just kidding).