Lucas Camilo

Happy Father’s Day Burke!

Although Burke and I usually both look over blog posts before posting, this one is going to have to go live without Burke’s approval.  Burke is a bit of a skeptic when it comes to holidays that corporations use to sell us stuff.  Which means he is opposed to most holidays (or claims to be), including Fathers Day.  But Burke is such an amazing dad that Lucas and I couldn’t let the day pass unnoticed.  One day Lucas will be able to tell you himself what a great dad he has, how warm and loving and positive and attentive his dad is.  For now he just has good shirts to communicate his love.

A friend and long-time feminist leader in El Salvador included Burke on her “feliz dia de los padres” email greeting.  She dedicated the email “to all the men who have responsibly taken on their role as fathers and who share the work of parenting – and building the future – with their partners; to the men whose lives and practice, little by little, are breaking with centuries of discrimination and inequality.”  Wow.  Breaking with centuries of discrimination and inequality is a pretty serious compliment.

But I agree with her – Burke is one of the men of our generation who are reshaping fatherhood so that the work and joy of parenting are really shared between parents.  I’m tempted to list everything amazing that makes Burke the most beautiful dad and partner-in-parenting I know, but the list would be too long.  And I’d still miss things.  So for now I’ll just stick with saying that I am so happy to be raising Lucas with such a great dad.  (And I’ll tell you later which one of us usually gets up when Lucas needs us at 3 in the morning…)

And happy Fathers’ Day to all the dads we know.  To Burke’s dad – Lucas’s Papa – Michael Stansbury.  Although I wasn’t there to see Michael as a dad to little Burke, from what I hear he gets a lot of credit for modeling being an incredibly dedicated, loving, and involved father.  And I think about my dad today.  He died 9 years ago, but I’ve told Lucas all about him and I try to channel the huge love I know he’d have had for Lucas.  And finally happy Fathers Day/Solstice/Sunday to all the uncles and aunts and ti@s and friends and neighbors who are part of raising kids and building the future.